I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
