i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
