I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
