Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
she peed on how many people?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
