dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
