im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
