just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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