I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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