youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize