I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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