I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
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We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
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I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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