i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
