Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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