Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
