I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
