would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
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