I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
