i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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