Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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