dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
These tits shall not be calmed
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
