Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He better not be in your backpack
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
