I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
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