oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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