I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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