Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
