I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
