I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize