Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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