If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
