She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
