If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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