wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
