what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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