i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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