Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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