I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
