she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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