Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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