His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
How's work?
Spinning.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
