i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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