For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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