wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
