i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
