She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
