Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
