he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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