So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
