At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
