You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I lost the right to judge tonight
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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