wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
