No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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