hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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