Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
