HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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