I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
