Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
