is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
