He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
