but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
We are all done wearing pants today
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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