I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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