dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
