Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize