I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
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That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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