I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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