Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
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