the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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