Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
