with your own penis?
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
We're too hungover to prance.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
